In Genesis we see the most full and informative picture of the unique, intimate and rich relationship between a man and a woman. Adam was created first (Genesis 2:7), then Eve second (Genesis 2:22). Eve was created to be a helper, a companion for Adam (Genesis 2:18). Both are equal in dignity, but both serve unique God-designed roles. Both compliment each other, both bring something unique, powerful and valuable that help contrast the relationship. They help balance each other out to be the best they can be.
In my relationship with my wife, I am the excessive dreamer, the visionary, the thinker, the leader and the one who always has a million ideas and dreams that seem bigger than I know what to do with. Sometimes, I have so many ideas and the weight of serving and helping people with my ideas and gifts is more than I can handle. It can get me down, confused, turned-around and at times, makes me too serious and too mission-focused or it can do the opposite. It can steal my focus from the important things that are real in this life.
For us as men, the temptation is always to think we are the genius behind all we do. For me, I preach, teach, blog, write and am a student. I operate many projects and am always re-visioning and thinking up new business plans while writing resources on relationships, pastoral advice, counselling advice and more. I do a lot of things and I have a lot of skills. However, despite all of the above, I constantly need to be reminded that: I am not the genius behind what I do.
When I preach, my wife cooks as I prepare the sermon, and after I sit down from the pulpit she looks at me with these incredibly adoring and encouraging eyes affirming I did a good job. Then she strikes up conversations with everyone around her as I counsel someone or share stories of my past, as I wrestle through things with people. Whatever I do, she is always there, supporting me, smiling, laughing, encouraging me and doing things I can’t. She invites people over after sermons and when I study and I am so stressed out, she rubs my neck. When I have ideas and need to think out loud and talk, she is there. She helps me process through my ideas and life’s difficulties. She helps me reach my full potential.
Men: be careful not to miss the design for marriage, the design of opposite genders and the important role our wives play in our lives. In our gender-confused world and feminism-driven culture, we can be led astray too often, easily forgetting that men and women are equal in roles and that God’s design wasn’t for a man and woman to unite. Despite our confused culture, God knew exactly what He was doing when He made man, first and Eve, second. He knew the man would need someone with a different perspective to help Him, to guide Him, to challenge him and stretch him, to show him his blind spots –to bring joy.
As you think through all the things that you do, as you preach faithfully and take the stage and your wife cooks and cleans behind the scenes, as you build companies and increase your profit or fix things around the house and your wife takes care of the kids so you can blog, think, write, teach people and do other things; take time each day to remind yourself all your wife does for you. Take time to remind yourself that without God’s incredibly clever design for marriage and the complimentary roles your wife plays in your life, you wouldn’t be able to do successfully all that you do. You wouldn’t be you.
As men, this may be a hard-hitting reality for us to grasp, since pride runs deep within the male DNA. As men, we all too often think we are the leader, that we are superman. We think we are the clever brains behind the operation. But if we are honest, we aren’t. No, you are not the genius behind the genius. Your wife is. She helps you out day after day. She makes home, home. She invites people into your house, so you can do ministry. She adds life, color, beauty, life, smiles and laughters to your life. She brightens up your world. She fills your heart with love. She encourages you daily. She washes the clothes. She helps shape you into the man God wants you to become. She is the God-designed genius behind all that you think you do so well, and God put her in your life to compliment you and be a powerful instrument and tool to help you accomplish all that you are called to do.